West River Parkway

The West River Parkway is a nice, albeit bumpy, trail that starts just above Downtown Minneapolis (north of Broadway Avenue) and snakes alongside the Mississippi River down to the Ford Parkway, where it turns into Godfrey Parkway.  It won City Pages' 2013 Award for best trail in the Twin Cities, which I bet the trail would love to put on its mantle if trails had mantles. 

Accessibility: 10 out of 10.  If you are anywhere near the Mississippi River between North Minneapolis and Ford Parkway, you're probably going to end up on this thing.  There are access points from Ford, Franklin Ave., Bridge Number 9, Hennepin Avenue Bridge, 20 different places in central Minneapolis...it's difficult to miss, is what I'm saying.

Smoothness: 5 out of 10.  This is pretty difficult to judge, because between Godfrey Parkway and I-94 you're going to have some pretty smooth sailing...in fact, come to think of it, I don't really remember any bumps at all within that area.  Very, very nice.  Then you get within a half-mile of the Washington Avenue Bridge, and the trail gets a little bit...rumbly.  Like they haven't fixed it up for quite a while, and it shows.  It stays like that until the I-35 bridge (where they kinda had to redo the trail a few years ago, for...some reasons) and then it gets okay again.

Then you hit Mill Ruins Park, and all hell breaks loose.  There are large, deep cracks that aren't fixed, a boardwalk by the ruins themselves that is not smooth by any stretch of the imagination, and you just keep clunking along like that until the trail ends.  I think my butt was crying for mercy somewhere around Hennepin Avenue Bridge.  So, if you like your trails to be spotless, it's probably best to jump off before you get too far north.

Scenery: 9 out of 10.  You know what this trail has?  Variety.  Just a perfect amount of variety.

The northern part of the trail brings you right down by the river's edge, with no high bluffs in between you and the Mississippi.  It takes you underneath the absolutely amazing Hennepin Ave. Bridge, lets you explore both the history of Mill Ruins Park and the Stone Arch Bridge, and the contemporary with a view of downtown and the Guthrie Theater.  You go under I-35, Bridge No. 9, Washington Avenue, Franklin Avenue...well, you know what, do you like bridges?  If so, cool, this is pretty much made for you.

After a long and hefty climb, you get up on top of the river bluffs, and the scene is just...pleasant.  You've still got a great "aerial" view of the river, and some phenomenal places to stop and hike down the cliffs, but most of all it's just relaxing.  The trees on the bluffs themselves are especially nice to swing by.  In fact, the only reason I'm giving this section a demerit is because it is right next to West River Road, a scenic two-lane drive that gets a surprising amount of people who drive convertibles and blare music as high as they possibly can.  Nothing brings you out of your ride enjoyment-coma like a jerk and the alt-rock album he thinks everybody enjoys.

Fun: 8 out of 10.  I'm going to get this out of the way now...I'm terrible at hills.  I love descending down them, don't get me wrong, it's the climbing that gets to me mainly because I can't crack a walnut with my thighs like some cyclists.  Not to say it's bad, just that I'm bad at it.

That being said, the parkway, especially in the central part between the Guthrie Theater and Franklin Avenue, is just chock full of hills.  You go up from the Mills, down to Bohemian Flats, up and down just after Washington Avenue, and then there's this massive, just massive hill right before Franklin Avenue.  It's one of those hills that doesn't look that bad at first, but it's big, it's steep, it's long, and just when you think its over it goes "HEY BUDDY HOW 'BOUT A LITTLE MORE."  My legs are destroyed by Lake Street.  So I'm bringing its "fun score" down a notch because of that damn hill.

That being said, the rest of it is completely enjoyable.  Like I said, variety in the relaxation-to-civilization trip that the trail utilizes is a breath of fresh air, and you never really get too used to having the same surroundings.  If you're a history or architecture buff, you'll absolutely love the downtown section, and if you like yourself some nature the southern section is great too.  The trail twists with the river quite a bit (apart from certain points, mainly between Franklin and Lake) which makes the ride a lot more adventurous.

Other information:

-The official speed limit of the parkway is ten miles per hour.  I've never seen anyone comply with that speed limit, and I've never seen anyone enforce it.  Obviously, you shouldn't Lance Armstrong your way through the parkway too hard because there are walkers and children using it too, but I understand that 10 mph is a bit snail-ish for some people.

-Sometimes it is a combined path, so look out for joggers and walkers.  

-CRAZY FACT I DIDN'T KNOW UNTIL JUST LAST WEEK: Unlike its western brother in Colorado, the Mississippi is not known for making cliffs, canyons, or waterfalls.  The one exception is actually in the Twin Cities, where there are cliffs high above the river starting just after Saint Anthony Falls and ending just after Saint Paul.  Why just in this specific area? Because Saint Anthony Falls actually used to be near freakin' downtown St. Paul around 12,000 years ago, before slowly eroding backwards towards the confluence of the Mississippi and the Minnesota Rivers.  Here's a short video from the National Park Service giving you a visual of what happened.  So when you're climbing the bluffs on the West River Parkway, you can blame the Falls for that. Man, rivers kick ass.

Overall: 7.8 out of 10.  Scenic but bumpy, hilly but enjoyable.