Previewing Our Reviewing

 

Hi.  I'm an average biker living in the city of Minneapolis, Minnesota.  I have a road bike, but I'm not that fast.  I bike to work, but not crazy enough to do it in the winter.  I pass the people on their fixies and get passed by the people dressed up as Alberto Contador.  Overall, I use it as a hobby and as a mode of transportation, which is what every single other person who rides a goddamn bike says about riding their goddamn bike.  So, generally speaking, I am a very boring cyclist.

Which makes me perfect for this blog.

Over the course of the next few months/years/however long this takes, I, a normal and boring biker, will review every single bike trail within the Twin Cities area.  Or, at the very least, I'll do my best to try...this area is notoriously fantastic for being open and considerate of both commuting and recreational cyclists, and as a result they've built an absolute crapton of trails for the public.  That'll make this take a while, but I think we can power through.

All bike trails will be reviewed according to this criteria:

1. Accessibility.  It's not a fantastic bike trail if its impossible to get on the path in the first place.

2. Smoothness.  Potholes suck, and I'm going to assume that you don't want to ride a trail that results in blunt force trauma to the genitals.

3. Scenery. People like to look at stuff when they ride.  It might as well be good stuff.

4. Fun.  How fun the ride is.  Not exactly FiveThirtyEight level objectivity here.

Now, before we begin, a few quick rules:

1. It has to be a bike TRAIL.  No bike lanes, no bike boulevards.  Obviously, these on-road areas are incredibly important to a thriving biking community, and it would be nice to include places like Pleasant Street near the U of M (I'VE NEVER BEEN SO EXCITED ABOUT GREEN PAINT!), but we can't for two reasons.  The first: it would take a hell of a long time to write this blog.  Do you know how tedious it would get for me to be like "Yeah, 5th Street is okay, but there's this pothole that you would never find on Park Avenue?"  I'd fall asleep writing that. 

The second reason being that it is a lot easier to review the scenery of a bike path without constantly looking out for automobi-JESUS THAT HONDA ALMOST KILLED ME.

2. My ratings aren't your ratings.  I am not you.  Maybe I wish I were, depending on how rich and attractive you are, but I'm not, which means that you and I have completely different tastes in enjoying a bike ride.  For example, I love twists and turns and hills, but if you prefer straight trails and see a review where I rated something 10 out of 10, ride that trail, and then say "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT THAT TRAIL SUCKED," well I can't blame you for thinking that. I'm going to try to alleviate this issue a little bit with longer descriptions of the trail and by pointing out if its better for commuting or recreation, but in the end, it's your opinion that's most important.

Finally, I have to admit to you up front that the idea for this blog is borrowed and/or haphazardly stolen from a guy named Séamus Flynn, who has been reviewing these exact same trails on his website since 2011. This blog will not be too much different, except that there will be a longer description, more photos, more personal stories about the trail itself, and the opinions might be different.  Go check out his site here, it's really good. 

Thanks for reading!  Enjoy this blog, enjoy the trails, and look out for that Honda.